After Chloe Benoît

After the tragic car crashed happened to Winter Monroe’s best friend almost three months now, she decided to move on, though it was really hard for her handling this such a huge  and heavy burden on her shoulder alone.  Only Chloe, her best friend who really understood, cared and loved her.  She was the love of her life and yet, it was too late for her to put an emerald and diamond ring on her sweet finger.  She was feeling depressed and utterly stressed. She had been struggling to get out of her manic depression but could not. She had been trying to drown in work and still did not work well. She kept missing her best friend, especially on the weekend that she always spent her quality time with her.  The Victoria Park, King’s Park, Subiaco and Fremantle. Those places that she always took her for taking a walk, coffee and dinner. She could not sweep those memories away, she wanted to give up the life, but she always remembered what Chloe told her to keep moving forward and pursue her dreams.

A week later, she decided to take a Yoga class. She used to do it, but then she stopped as it was too boring for her to do so.  Maybe it’s boring for me, but I think it will be good for my soul and mind at this moment. She took a Hatha yoga class eventually. I hope I am getting better, so I would be ready to start my life all over again and ready to build the future with my future partner.

yoga

***

“Nice bike!”

“Oh, thanks!. How are you?” Winter parked her bike in the bicycle’s parking lot. She rented a beautiful and cozy apartment in the Subiaco area which was only 5 minutes to The Yoga Spark at Collin Street. She sold her small and gorgeous house that she spent most of the time with Chloe. It was just too painful for her to see every place and corner she was with her.

“You look great, Win!”

“You too, thanks!” She smiled.

Jesse Blanc was a Yoga teacher. She was in her mid-forty, beautiful with bright blue eyes and had a superb slender body.  She was married, but no kids. She had been a Yoga teacher for twelve years. Everybody liked her as she was friendly, a caring and loving person.

“So, you are ready for today?”

“Yeah, I guess… I just cannot_

“You are still thinking about her, aren’t you?” Jesse asked and worried about her. “You know, Winter, I can understand what you feel to lose someone that you’d been loved for 15 years. I was in that situation before. When I was very young, I decided to marry James, my husband. After three years of our marriage, we finally had a baby. It was the greatest moment that we were both excited. Our son, Jack, was adorable and the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. But then…”she paused.

“Then what?” Winter touched her shoulder and looked at her eyes deeply.

“Terrible thing happened. Jack died when he was three years old”,

“Oh, I am so sorry. What happened?”

“He got hit by a drunk driver. The driver avoided the pedestrian and swerved to the path whilst my son was walking there. And he was dead instantly”, her tone was muffled by distance and grief. “Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I believe your son is in a better place now”, Winter hugged her.

Jesse wiped the tears in the corner of her eyes and said “Thank you. And let’s go to the class!”

***

cycling

It had been a month; Winter finally enjoyed the Yoga class. She was getting better and relaxed a bit now. Winter liked Jesse and she thought that she could be her close friend. She kept the distance as she did not want to let her feelings fall into her as she knew that Jesse was a married woman.  However, sometimes, they cycled together to Perth city and dropped by for a coffee.

“Are you okay?”Jesse asked.

“Yes, I_I am okay”, Winter said.

“Well, you don’t look O.K. What’s the matter? You tired?” she sounded concerned.

“Um… It’s Friday, isn’t it?

Jesse nodded and asked “what is it with Friday?”

“I always feel nervous every Friday, its weekend. And you know…?” her eyes glazed and tears were rolling down on her cheeks. “I miss Chloe. I miss her pretty crazy. We used to spend every weekend together as I travelled a lot for the business purposes. And she was so excited waiting for me because she knew that I always surprised her and sometimes….Winter wiped the tears and smiled…”sometimes we did a crazy thing”.

Jesse rubbed Winter’s hair and said “I could feel what you feel. Time is a great healer! Listen, I was planning to have “barbie” tonight in my home. Would you like to come? Or would you prefer to have a cup of coffee at Brew Ha?

“Is your husband there? Well, please, don’t get me wrong, I mean, I actually just wanted to be alone or with someone like you. I mean, you care about me so much. And I really appreciated. And thank you for that, Jess!”

“Well, you know that you are so sweet and sometimes, funny! And I love seeing you smiling and laughing, but when the joy has gone from your face, I feel sad” she said softly.

“By the way, James is in London for the business…So_

“I’d love to come!”

At 07:00 p.m.

Winter drove her car heading towards Jesse’s house in Wembley. And it took only ten minutes to get there. She stopped in front of the big and beautiful white house. She read the address again. I think this is the right address. And this is her house. She got off the car and walked slowly to the gate and rang the bell. She wore blue jeans and a white shirt and the pearl black string choker around the neck. She was small, charming and attractive. She could see through the window that Jesse was running towards the door.

“Hi, gorgeous, thanks for coming!” she kissed her cheek.

“My pleasure and thanks for inviting me, Jess!” she smiled.

Jesse wore tight Khaki dress showing off her beautiful body, and she looked so feminine and sexy.

Shortly after, dinner was ready. The weather was so amazing and it was a really good feeling to have barbeque outside with the gorgeous scenery in her patio area. They sat in the dining area with the round white table and two chairs placed nicely. The Jazz music reverberated and added to the romantic atmosphere. Winter poured herself and Jesse a glass of Rose wine. They looked at each other and smiled.

“C’est délicieux. Marveilleux diner. Je le vis. Merci beaucoup!” Winter said and tossed her glass against Jesse’s.

“Mon grand plaisir, mon doux ami!” She smiled and blinked her eyes.

“Hey, how could you speak Francais?” Winter was surprised and smiled.

“My father is French. He’s originally from Marseille”.

“Marseille?” Wow, that was in coincidence. When I was seventeen, my family moved to Marseille. We lived there for one year”, Winter told her excitedly. I liked the city and the weather was just fine, as it’s not that hot and not that cold”.

“Yes, absolutely!” Jesse smiled and stood. She took her hand and asked for the dance.

“Would you like to dance with me, ma douce amie?”

Winter smiled and looked so nervous and brutally honest “um…I_I can’t dance and I don’t like dancing.”

“I’ll teach you and I am sure, you will like it. Dance slow Jazz, that’s what I call it. Listen to the music and just try to follow the rhythm. “Okay, put your right hand on my left hip side and your left hand on my hand, hold it up.”

“Like this?” Winter asked. Jesse nodded and smiled.

images (35)

Shortly after, it seemed that both of them enjoy the evening night. Winter pulled Jesse a bit closer. A hug stance. And she kissed her lips. And all of a sudden, Jesse pushed her away.

Winter was confused and felt guilty “I am sorry… I_I did not mean to_ “She stepped back and said “Sorry, I did not mean to screw up the dinner. Sorry…” She left and walked towards her car. She drove home fast, but her mind kept thinking about what had just happened. What did I do? Fool! Did I kiss her because I kept thinking of Chloe? I guess not.  She sighed. I like her and I thought that she likes me. Hang on. Why did she do this to me? I mean, a beautiful dinner, beautiful Jazz music and…asked me for the dance? I do not understand this. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She took Norah Jones CD and turned it on “Come away with me”…this is for you, Chloe. I miss you. I wish you were here with me now!

15

 ***

The next Friday in the ladies locker…

Winter saw Jesse putting the bag in the locker. She tied her hair up with a blue satin band and looked beautiful as always. She approached her. “Hi, Jesse”

“Hi Winter”, she responded without looking at her. “Jesse, look, I apologise for what happened on Friday night…I-I like you and I thought that you like me too. I am so sorry”

Jesse did not respond. She closed the locker and said “Let’s go to the class”. She left. Winter stood confused. What is it? She walked towards her locker and her mind kept thinking about Jesse.

“Excuse me!”

Winter turned around to find out where the voice came from. And she saw a girl walking towards her. “Hi, my name is Emily. And I am a new here”, She extended her hand and Winter shook it.

“Oh, I am Winter. Are you going to join Hatha Class?” she asked.

“Yes. Do you know where exactly the place is? I mean the class? Which floor?”

“Come with me. We are in the same class”

***

Emily was from Melbourne and she had just moved to Perth. She worked at a five star hotel as a Director of Sales and Marketing. She was intelligent and cute, dressed in a pink tank and blue jeans, her blonde hair twisted and secured with a dragonfly clip at the nape of her neck. She was younger than Winter. It seemed that they were both very close now. She invited her sometimes for having lunch at the hotel she worked and asked her to arrange some events. And it was the really professional relationship they had been trying to build for three weeks now.

And one day, Emily called her to come to her apartment for the tasks that she thought that she needed Winter’s help. Her General Manager asked her to re-brand the company and she got stuck as was not sure what she was doing. She had a problem with the confidence and always got nervous when she got a big job. She thought about Winter as she knew that she had more experiences than her. And she knew that she was brilliant, had thousands of ideas. That’s what Emily adored her. On the other hand, Winter always felt that she was just a spontaneous person. She never thought that her ideas would make people mesmerize and like them. Sometimes, she just said what was crossed her mind.

“Wow! That’s a brilliant idea. I could not believe that you think so fast about what we are supposed to do for the re-branding?”

“Well, me neither. The idea just came across my mind suddenly”, she said and smiled.

“Thanks anyway!”She grabbed her hand and led her to the balcony.

“I’ll show you something. It’s a beautiful view up here, isn’t it? You know what? A day I arrived in Perth, I knew that I will fall in love with this city. It’s so quiet. People are so nice. And I feel like I have a life here”

“Yeah, I love Perth too. The most beautiful city that I have ever known…well, at least for me!”, she smiled.

“Win, may I ask you something?”

“Sure! Ask me whatever you want to know about me”

“D-did you choose to be a lesbian?”She asked hesitantly.

Winter smiled and said “I chose to be with the person I’m with. And I think everybody has the right to choose their partners”

Emily smiled and moved closer to her. And she hugged her from behind.

“Hmm, Emily, what are you doing?”Winter turned her body.

Emily put her hands on her shoulder and kissed her lips.

Winter kissed her back and said “W-why did you kiss me? I thought that you have a_

“I really like you and I want to feel you”, she kissed her cheeks.

Winter looked at her eyes and touched her cheek. She kissed her lips gently and asked “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I-I have never had sex with a woman…but I…um…I want to feel it with you” her face blushed  and she took Winter’s hands and placed them on her breasts and said “I like you so much, Win. Winter kissed her lips again and moving down to her neck. She unbuttoned Emily’s blouse and caressed her beautiful breasts and licked her nipples. She paused and whispered in her ear “I can hear your heart beating hard!” she smiled. Emily looked nervous and managed to smile back.  Winter kept moving and Emily moaned and they were both getting hot. “Show me your bedroom, sweetheart”…

Winter laid her on her bed. She kept kissing and rubbing her breasts. She was on the top of Emily’s body and she kissed and caressed her entire body gently. Emily was aroused and said “f*** me!”

***

“Thank you for last night, it was my first great experience having sex with a woman”, Emily kissed her cheek.

“I am happy if you like it, Em. I was worried that I could not satisfy you as you_”

“I felt so different, I mean, having sex with a man and a woman? You know what I mean?”, she kissed her lips. Jesse came to the locker and saw they were both kissing. She cleared her throat and said “Sorry to interrupt. Winter, can I talk to you, please?”

Winter looked at Emily and Jesse and said “Yes, of course!”. Do you want to talk now? Here? or_

“Not here”, Jesse said firmly.

Winter seemed to understand. “Em, would you mind leaving us, please? And I’ll give you a call later, okay?”

She nodded and kissed her lips before she left.

“So, are you going to talk to me here or somewhere else?”

“Let’s go to the King’s park”

“No, I don’t want to go there…um…Would you mind if I take you to my apartment? Sorry, I feel like I do not want to go somewhere, and I just want to go back to my home. I am really tired”

“Okay”

Shortly ten minutes after…

images (34)

Jesse stood there stunned.  Winter’s apartment was amazing, light and bright, beautiful and quiet, leafy location and had a small garden with stunning mature exotic plants. “Let’s come inside and I’ll show you how amazing Perth city to have a look at from my balcony. C’est magnifique! “She said matter-of-factly.

“I could not agree more”, Jesse smiled.

“Okay, have a seat, please?”. They sat on the large black sofas in the living room facing to the big screen with a round aquarium table in the middle. The smells of lavender fragrance throughout the room made whoever sitting there feeling so comfortable and relax.

Jesse cleared the throat and said “ I_I apologise for being rude to you last time”

“Well, Jess, I’ve forgotten already and I_”

“Please, let me explain… I have been thinking a lot about myself. I mean, I was being dishonest to myself and you. When the first time, I saw you, I feel like you’re different. You’re unique to me and that’s why I like you. I_I fell in love with you. But…I ignored the feelings. I lied to myself. And it made me so frustrated. I am married and there is nothing that I can do about it. I invited you for the dinner last time as I really wanted to get to know you better. And when you kissed me. She paused. I-I’ve never felt the kiss like you did to me with anyone else before, including James. But I pushed you away. I was scared. And I couldn’t get you out of my head ever since. The more I tried to forget about you, the more I feel tortured my heart”, she looked at her desperately.

Winter moved closer and said “Jess, I like you too. You are a caring and loving person. You’ll always be there for me. But I have to lock up my feelings to you because I knew that you are a married woman. And I do not want to get hurt, Jess. I’ve had enough”.

“Not anymore”

“What do you mean, not anymore?”

“I am not a married woman anymore. I am divorced”, she said firmly.

“I am so sorry to hear that, but why did you divorce him? I mean, you have been married for 20 years, right?”

“There is no love between us anymore since our son died. We blamed each other. James always travelled and came home late. And we have been pretending to be a happy couple ever since. Life is too short. And I came to realise that I do not want to waste my time living in a cage without a love. And he agreed with the divorce. And I am free now”, she touched Winter’s face and cupped her hand on her cheek. Winter took her hand off and kissed it. She touched her cheek and kissed her lips very gently. Oh my, her lips are so tender, so tentative and so full. And she looked at Jesse’s face as if she was curious and waiting for her new experience and needing to be shown how much pleasure can be found in two women coming together. And Jesse felt relaxed and kissed her lips back. They kissed their lips passionately. Winter laid her on the sofa and her hand started to explore her body, unbuttoned her blouse and unzipped her pants. She stunned looking down at Jesse’s naked slim figure. Winter took her clothes off and kissed her neck and moved down to her body, kissing every inch of skin she crossed. Jesse started to wriggle beneath her. Winter kissed her ear and whispered “I love your smell, sweet and musky”. Jess smiled and said “I feel so good with you”.

They had made love on the sofa. Winter cuddled her from behind and said “you’re so wonderful and thank you for loving me”.

Jesse turned her body and took Winter’s hand and placed it on her breast. “I love you. I love you just the way you are!” she kissed her lips and smiled.

10

“It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on”… Chloe, I cannot forget you, never will! You were a part of who I am now. You are in a better place. I hope, I will be happy with my life sooner or later, like I was with you, and can pursue my dreams. Thank you, my darling, BUT I still miss you anyway! xoxo          

                      

https://youtu.be/BqqPgA-yuuc

rose for CB

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